The Regime Loves Compliance

Source: BabylonBee [1]

Soon to become real, not just anti Health Regime satire!

* * * * * *

– Hey there, are you hesitant to get the vaccine?
– Yes!
– Then get the brand new government approved “Vaccinate Me Elmo Doll”!
– Wow!
– Elmo loves experimental vaccines!

With the “Vaccinate Me Elmo Doll” your kid will finally feel the pressure and shame we’ve successfully made you feel to get the COVID vaccine!
– Quick, give me the vaccine!
– Elmo doesn’t want to be responsible for the deaths of friends or family!
– Thanks, now Elmo is a good person!

The “Vaccinate Me Elmo Doll” comes with a toy syringe, a stethoscope!
– Elmo, your heart is beating fast!
– Are you having complications?
– Of course NOT!

And a tiny vial of “Something”, it’s not the vaccine, promise!
It’s “Water”, but your kid drinks it!

– Elmo, can you take your mask off now?
– No, gotta keep that mask on forever!
– That feels like mixed messaging!

With the “Vaccinate Me Elmo Doll” your child will be begging you to get the vaccine!
Just scared out of their little mind for the fate of the world, or your money back!
– It’s your turn, time to get the vaccine!
– I don’t want to!
– Sorry, you have to!
– No!
– Do it!
– No!
– You have no choice!
– No!
– Now, now or else!
– Or else what?
– Last chance!
– Okay!
– Great, Elmo loves compliance!

And for all you anti-science conspiracy believing parents buy the re-released “Classic Tickle Me Elmo”!
– It’s perfectly normal!
– Yes, this is fun!
– Get the vaccine or die!

Buy the “Vaccinate Me Elmo Doll” today, it’s required by the CDC!